Broken Together
by salingergurl
Summary: This is what happens when Leah is sent to retrieve Jacob when he runs away from Bella's wedding. Jacob/Leah. Reviews are pretty. Thanks to Nesrine for the beta!


**Broken Together**

When the pack finally got me away from the wedding, I was fuming mad. I phased, wanting to outrun them, to outrun everyone, to run forever. I heard their voices in my head but there was only one of them who could catch up to me, and she hadn't been there.

Yet, suddenly, I heard her loud and clear. Not just her thoughts. I heard her breathing, behind me, then next to me, then ahead. Leah. Great.

_You can't run forever_, she thought.

_I can try. What do you care, anyway? Just leave me alone._ I picked up my pace a bit. She stayed right with me.

_Trust me, I want to. But Sam won't let me. I'm with you, kid, much as we both hate that idea._ Now it was her turn to pick up the pace.

_You're trying to tire me out faster, aren't you? Get me to slow down? Not gonna happen, Leah! _I threw my whole self into the run, blocking out everything except my paws hitting the earth—four gentle thuds over and over and over again. It was hypnotizing, numbing, easy. We ran like that for a long time – Leah keeping pace just behind me – neither of us thinking anything in particular except: _I can't get tired first. _After a while it became a mantra, my feet striking the ground fell in line with my repeated thought.

I began to slow down slightly, but Leah didn't seem tired at all. In fact, once she noticed my reduced pace, she started lapping me, making wide circles around my path.

_Come on, Jake, is that all you've got?_

_Shut up, Leah. _

_Ooh, still sensitive, I see. She sure did a number on you._

_Shut UP! You don't know what you're talking about. Leave me alone._

_You know I can't do that. _And_ you know that I _do _know what I'm talking about._

_Piss off, Leah. I don't wanna talk about my feelings. Least of all with _you_._

_You can't run forever, Jake._

_I can try_, I accused. She was quiet then, and ran off in another direction. _Finally._ I slowed down to a jog and, at last, thought about why I had started running: _Bella is married. And leaving on her honeymoon. To spend her life, and the night, with that parasite who will probably kill her in the throws of passion. Life is grand._

_She made her choice, Jake. She chose him._

_Shit! I forgot you were around. _

_Yeah, I've been exploring. Found a hunting blind about a mile from here. Let's head there and we can get some sleep before we go home. I'll leave you alone if that's what you want, Jake._

I hadn't noticed how dark it had gotten. We'd run almost all night.

_That's what I want. _

_Fine._

We made it to the blind very soon after, Leah arriving first. She had phased back by the time I got there. I decided to walk just to piss her off. I phased too, outside the small cabin's makeshift door, but realized I had nothing to put on my naked body. Things were getting better and better.

"Leah? Hey."

"Yes, Jake?"

"Is there something in there I could, y'know, put on?" God, how embarrassing.

She laughed, like I knew she would. What a bitch she could be. "Take these. The guys gave me an extra pair of shorts. They knew you didn't have any with you." She stuck them underneath the "door" which didn't come all the way to the ground anyway. I put the shorts on and walked into the blind. It was small and dusty, but had a piece of carpet big enough to curl up on, a couple of chairs, and a few shelves. It would do, I guess. Not that I really cared.

"I'll have to thank Sam next time I see him." Leah, who was sitting in one of the chairs, looked at me questioningly. "For the shorts," I clarified. I said his name on purpose, knowing it still affected Leah, even just a little. I was feeling so low that I couldn't let her be. I had to start in on her, make her mad. I wanted her to be miserable like me.

"He didn't suggest them but I'm sure he'll take credit."

"You should get over him, y'know. He's never coming back to you." I can be an asshole sometimes. I _wanted_ to be an asshole. "He loves Emily, not you."

She looked at me with hate in her eyes, and I knew if the rest of the pack hadn't been counting on her to bring me home, she would have tried to rip me apart. I strutted around for a second, trying to find some food even though, for the first time in my life, I wasn't hungry. I just needed something to do. I was feeling pretty proud that I'd made her as miserable as me.

"What a shitty place this is. No food anywhere. Could you have picked a worse place, Leah?" I was laying it on thick. I needed her to hate me, needed to have a reason to deserve all the pain I was feeling.

"Oh sorry, Jake. No four star hotels out here in the woods in the middle of nowhere. And y'know what? You don't even want me here. I'm not sure why I stayed so long, anyway. Clearly thirty seconds was my limit. I'm gonna go sleep in the woods." She walked out the door, let her dress fall, and said, "I'll wake you up in the morning, asshole." Then she phased_._ For a minute, I enjoyed the peace and quiet, stewing in my own anger.

It didn't last very long. First of all, there was nothing to do in the tiny blind. Plus, I wasn't tired. But I didn't feel like running home toward Bella and her now-perfect life. I didn't want to run further and leave Leah either; she could be a bitch but she was part of the pack. I didn't want to move. Didn't want to be still. I didn't want to think either. Unfortunately that's about all I could do.

I began to regret driving Leah away. Of everyone I knew she was the only one who could possibly understand, and I'd driven her away. I though about phasing and calling her back, but didn't want to apologize. I thought about yelling for her, but knew she'd probably be pretty far away. I _was_ an asshole to her. She had to hear it constantly; we all sort of treated her like an outsider, but she was here to deal with me, to help me, and I should have been grateful.

Too prideful to go and get her, my mind continued to wander. First I thought of Bella. How that parasite was probably touching her right now. How she looked naked… How she _felt_ naked. Before I could go too far, I forced myself to stop.

She. Would. Never. Be. Mine.

Trying to think of other beautiful women as a distraction, I eventually recalled the glimpse I'd seen of Leah as she stood outside the door of the shack and dropped her dress. I saw again Leah's naked back, her perfectly formed butt, her long legs… How had I never appreciated them before? Sure, I'd tried to sneak a couple of peeks now and then as she was phasing back. What teenage guy wouldn't? But… Leah's naked form right in front of me, even for the briefest of moments, was, admittedly, pretty damn nice. I could be in the company of a beautiful woman, but instead I'd pushed her away. The one person who could help me was sleeping out in the dirt.

I took my shorts off and phased. _Hey… If you're close, come back. I know you hate sleeping outside. I'll be nicer. I promise._

_Get out of my head, Jake. I'm over trying to be around you. I'll come find you in the morning. Leave me alone._

_Leah I'm…I want you to come back. Don't sleep out here; I know you hate sleeping in the dirt. _

_I'm not at your beck and call, Jacob Black. You can't treat me like that and then expect me to come back. It's not happening. Good. Night._

I knew what I had to do. _Leah, I'm sorry. Come back to the blind. Please._ That was it. I phased back, and waited.

*****

It took three hours, but she came back. I was sure she'd make me wait, but I also knew she'd come back eventually. She really did hate sleeping in the dirt. She arrived in the early morning light, phasing and dressing quickly. She was practiced at dressing in front of a pack of guys, but we too were practiced. I caught one perfect glimpse of her legs, dark skin reflecting the sun as it began to rise, and I realized that Bella may not be the only painfully beautiful girl in the world.

"Hey," she said as she walked in. "Find any food in here? I'm starved."

"There's a can of green beans and some crackers." I tossed my head in their direction, "It's a feast."

"Thanks." She settled down in one of the chairs to eat, pulling her hair back into a twist. As her arms rose, her breasts strained against the fabric of her dress, looking quite nice. She really was sort of beautiful. She caught me staring, though, and asked, "You want some too, I suppose. Should've known…"

"I'm actually not hungry, but thanks."

"Yeah, a broken heart'll do that to you." She smiled distantly, and I knew she was remembering the old feelings. She began to eat quietly and I sat down against a wall and closed my eyes. I just wanted to stop seeing for a minute. Stop noticing the way her throat moved when she swallowed, beautiful and smooth like a wave, or the way a few escaped hairs cradled her face like a lover. Like I would if I kissed her.

"It gets better, you know. It doesn't seem like it, but it does."

I kept my eyes closed, unable to handle the sincerity I knew was there. "How long does that take, you figure?"

"Weeks, months. Who knows? You'll wake up every day and she'll be the first thing you think about and it will suck monumentally. It'll suck every day, without fail. Until one day you realize he wasn't the first thing you thought about, and that's the day it starts to get better. Soon, he's the third thing you think about, then the fourth, until eventually…

"She. _She_'_ll_ be the third thing I think about." I opened my eyes and smiled because she looked confused.

"You said 'he.'"

"Well you know who I meant. Bella." I winced at the sound of her name. "One day you'll realize that it hurts a little less, and eventually, it becomes manageable."

"Do you still love Sam?" I have to admit, I said his name to get back at her.

She took a deep breath and came to sit beside me, making room where there was none.

"Some days. But most of the time I don't. Jealousy, though? _That_'s the worst. Pain is easy but jealousy…"

"Let's not even go there," I said smiling. I sat for a minute and thought about all Leah had said. "We just had a civil conversation, Leah. Did you realize that?"

"Hmm. Must be _something_ we can fight about. Say something horrible about my brother."

"Nah, Seth's a good kid. Say something horrible about Bella."

"Nah, you'll just agree with me."

"Right now, I just might." I smiled, and turned toward her. "When does the anger stop?"

"Depends. It took a while… Then jealousy in all her green-eyed glory took her place." She patted my leg, but her hand stayed.

"Anger's a woman, huh? I should've known." It was nice, having her there. We sat in silence for a moment, her hand on my knee, our arms and knees against each other, watching the sunrise out of the blind's tiny window.

"When will I stop feeling broken?" I blurted out.

She grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes: "That one, I don't know the answer to. I'm still a bit fractured myself."

I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was her eyes looking into mine, knowing that she understood me for just one moment. Maybe it was her hand on mine, so comforting. Maybe it was the glimpses of her naked I'd seen so many times driving me crazy. Perhaps I felt lonely. But I leaned toward Leah, and she leaned toward me, and I kissed her.

Tentatively at first – barely pressing my lips to hers – then pulling away, still close enough to feel her long eyelashes on my face. I went back for more, this time fitting my lips to hers like interlocking pieces. She closed her eyes and I closed mine. We didn't breathe. Or maybe we did. I can't recall it now. All I knew is that we kissed, endless, perfect, broken, as the sun ascended the sky.

I pulled away first. I remember that. I wanted to look at her again. Her eyes fluttered open and she realized what we'd just done. "I'm sorry," I stuttered. "I didn't…"

"What Jake, you didn't want to kiss me?" Her anger was instant and total. "You wanted me to be her, didn't you?" She made a move to get up, but I grabbed her and all but forced her to stay near me.

"No, Leah. It was you I was kissing. I'm just sorry if you didn't want to kiss me. I shouldn't have assumed… Don't be mad." I kissed her forehead. "Please?"

"Jake…" She took my hand in both of hers. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions I just… I don't know what we're doing. What are we doing?"

"I have _no_ idea." I smiled at her, "but I wouldn't mind doing some more of it." I raised my eyebrows suggestively. She giggled and we moved into a more comfortable position.

She looked into my eyes and asked, "Do you think two broken people can make one whole one?"

"Maybe," I whispered into her lips. "Maybe." We kissed again, this time with purpose, knowing what we wanted. We wanted to be whole again. She was a great kisser, her lips against mine were supple and perfect. She smelled like cold wind and earth, better than any perfume. She pulled away and kissed beneath my jaw. It felt so damn good that before I knew it, I moaned. Embarrassed by my reaction, I stiffened and pulled away from her. She grabbed my face and pulled me back to her lips.

"It's okay, Jake."

Soon our kisses were moving. I followed Leah's lead and kissed her neck, her shoulders, anywhere that wasn't covered by her dress. She lay down under me and I pressed my body on hers, feeling fire where our skin met. She was so warm; I was so warm. The tiny building felt hot, despite the chill outside. Our heavy breaths added to the moisture forming on our bodies; everything was hot and wet and smooth. "Take my dress off, Jake. Please." Unable to argue, barely able to control myself, I did as she asked, releasing her breasts to my mouth and hands. She shimmied the rest of it off while I was preoccupied with her nipples, hard little stones under my touches.

Suddenly, she was naked and I was afraid. I pulled away from her a little. "Leah, I'm a… I haven't ever…" I was embarrassed again at having to admit to her I didn't know what I was doing. I was afraid of doing this with someone that wasn't Bella, the girl I'd fantasized about for far too long.

She grabbed my face and kissed me, then rolled us over and sat across my stomach. "It's okay, Jake." She leaned down and kissed my chest, then lay on top of me, lightly grazing her body across mine. "I'll talk you through it," she whispered in my ear.

*****

We slept for a couple of hours curled up next to each other on the floor of the blind, comforting each other through the contact of our bodies. I woke up first and looked at Leah, sleeping silently with her back pressed against my stomach. I really saw her for the first time as she was—a beautiful, strong, broken Quilutte like me. Perhaps we could somehow be broken together.

For a moment, I believed I could be happy again.


End file.
